I Seem Cool Online

So – I just want to remind everyone that I’m actually not that awesome. My life is actually pretty boring. But for whatever reason, when I start to write things down, I start to think that my life is pretty cool. Seeing my life immortalized in print on the web, depicting all the super awesome parts of my life is so… AWESOME! Just awesome. Maybe I should share some not so great stuff. Ya know – keep it real, yo.

Today is not that day.

Why? Cause I just went on a super cool date and it needs to be written down NOW so it stays super cool. I don’t want to write it later when I’m groggy and tired. The memory is fresh and I owe it to the moment to be well described! Words help us relive things – our memory can get a little foggy. Just face it.

T’was yesterday, Friday – February 9th. I was laying on my couch in the middle of the day, doing what I do best: watching “How I Met Your Mother” on Netflix. Yeah – killer afternoon. When suddenly, my phone began to ring! MYLES Y. I knew this was going to be good. This guy is a riot! Absolutely one of my best friends and we’ve only known each other for about 3 months.

Myles starts going off about this thing called “Service Saturday” and how a bunch of people get together to give back to the community! Something I’d totally dig – right up my alley. But THEN he starts telling me in horrid detail what he had to do. Apparently Boise has a rat shelter? A place where rats can go and be safe? A rat sanctuary, if you will. Some bat poop crazy lady has HUNDREDS of rats in a double wide trailer! IN BOISE! I couldn’t believe it. But she loves them! She cares for them like children! And Myles WENT THERE ( yeah – inside the trailer!) with other volunteers to clean it! Can you imagine? THE HORROR! It freaks me out just thinking about it. Apparently she has a facebook page. I gotta find it. I gotta find the rat sanctuary page. When I do, I’m definitely bringing it straight here.

Immediately following this disgusting conversation, Myles goes, “So uh, I think we should go on a date. Tonight, actually. Let’s get dinner and play laser tag!” “Oh, okay! Yeah, that sounds good Myles. I’d love to!” Well I had to work till 8:30 pm. So at 9, Myles picks me up and we head out on our adventure.

This is the part of the Myles story where things get good. Myles is actually a huge sweetie. Total sucker for romantic stuff. He likes to make stuff personal. So no more freaky stuff like rats.

He picks me up and he heads to walmart. We had to pick out our favorite cereal (there’s a lot of back story to this. no time to write it all. you’d hate me for it. poop.) So after we got our cereal, we headed to… Wahooz? Yep. Wahooz. Myles proceeds to pull out a carton of milk, bowls, and spoons from the back of his truck. And I’m all… “So uh, where are we eating our favorite cereal again?” “In Wahooz, Moe. Then we’re going to play laser tag!” “Oh… okay!” Finally, after much struggle, we found a spot we felt we could eat in peace. But when Myles pulled out the bowls, I started to panic. It was too weird, bringing our own food to a business that had a sign clearly posted stating “Please no outside food or drink”. AND wahooz has freaking security now!!! What kind of family fun place has a dude in a yellow security shirt with a huge radio holstered to his hip?! Anyways.

I totally chickened out. I begged Myles to not pull out the milk or cereal. Then we had the most incredible idea! Myles cleans some hair salons in the mall after hours… There’s a door that is unlocked 24/7. So we went to the food court, picked a table, and ate our cereal alone in the mall. It was SO COOL! We laughed, talked philosophy… It was by far the most perfect date I’ve been on in a very long time.

Basically, Myles Y. is a fantastic young man who’s totally single and lookin’ for his lady! I’d totally snatch him up, but alas – Myles came into my life shortly after I made the decision to go on a mission. Yes boys, this ship has sailed. I’m totally stoked.

But until then, I’m floating on a cloud. This date was great. It’s one for the record books!

I’ll be seeing you,

— Moe Joy


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